*Names have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals involved*
“I’ve worked here for 16 years but still don’t have the proper documentation.”
I want to better myself, but it’s hard when you don’t have paperwork. Every day feels like a struggle, yet I keep pushing for the sake of my children. I have two beautiful kids—a boy, who is five, and a girl, who is eight. They’re my everything. But making ends meet here in St. Maarten, especially without proper legal papers, is a challenge I wasn’t prepared for.
I was born on this island. My parents are from the Dominican Republic, but I’ve spent most of my life here. When I was a child, we travelled back and forth between St. Maarten and the Dominican Republic. When I turned 18, I thought it was time to settle down here. But since then, I’ve been trying to get my residency papers, and it’s been one hurdle after another. It’s heartbreaking. I’m not even asking for a Dutch passport—I just want to legally live and work here, to improve life for my children and myself.
Endless Struggles
I’ve worked in various stores and restaurants. Before the pandemic, I finally had a work permit and was about to apply for my residence permit. Then COVID hit, and the shop I was working at closed. My employer refused to pay us. I was left with no income, my children crying because they were hungry, and I didn’t know where our next meal would come from.
For a while, I started cooking and selling BBQ, just to make ends meet. Eventually, I moved back in with my son’s father for the sake of the children. It wasn’t ideal, and we’re not together anymore, but he’s supportive, at least when it comes to the children. He gives me $100 a month, which barely covers the $130 bus fee I need to get them to school. My rent is $500, utilities are around $120, and I still need to pay for school fees and other essentials. It feels impossible some days.
Finding Support
I first heard about the Freegan Food Foundation through a yard sale they were having. I saw their groceries and wondered if I could buy from them. That’s when I found out about their food programme. At first, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to apply. I didn’t want to take advantage of anyone’s kindness. But eventually, I gave in and applied. After being denied the first time, they encouraged me to apply again, and this time I got in. For the past six months, the foundation has been a lifesaver.
For $12 a week, I can get a week’s worth of groceries, and that helps more than I can put into words. At least with the Freegan Food Foundation, I know my children won’t go hungry. Before, I would go to the store with $100, hoping it would last for two weeks. Now, $100 barely covers one week.
“Everything has gotten so expensive…”
The Daily Fight
Without legal status, every day is a challenge. I can’t go to social services for help, and I can’t sign a proper work contract. My children deserve better, and I feel guilty because I can’t give them everything they need. But I remind myself that I’m doing the best I can. I explain to my children that I want to be there for them when they come home from school, to help them with their homework, and to make sure they don’t feel abandoned.
The Freegan Food Foundation has been my support system for now, but the programme is only six months. I still feel like I’m just surviving day by day. I’m always trying to balance rent, utilities, school fees, and food. I have no savings, and every time I think I’m getting ahead, something pulls me back. But I can’t give up. My kids need me, and that’s all the strength I need to keep going.
The Future
As hurricane season comes around, I get nervous. I remember when Hurricane Irma hit. My daughter was only one year old, and our house, which was made of wood, was destroyed. I had to replace almost everything. Now, we live in a concrete house, but every time a storm is predicted, I feel that same fear. I stay inside, close the door, and just hope for the best.
What scares me most is the uncertainty of the future. What will happen to us if I still don’t get my papers? My mother has suggested sending the kids back to the Dominican Republic, but I want to raise them here. I’m young, and I’m ready to work hard. I’ve been doing it since I was a teenager. I just need the chance to prove myself, like anyone else.
Even though life is tough, I’m not ashamed of my situation. I’m doing what I can for my children. The Freegan Food Foundation has been a lifeline, and I hope they can continue helping people like me for years to come.
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